Fertility Care of Orange County

I don’t know why I haven’t gotten pregnant yet

You think of yourself as young and healthy. You have been diligent, trying to get pregnant naturally, either by having frequent intercourse or being precise about how you time it. You have been doing all this for quite a while, but yet, month after month, you are disappointed to find that you’re not getting pregnant.

Has more than a year gone? You are justified in being concerned.

At this point, it can be tempting to keep telling yourself “let’s just give it one more month”. It was OK to do that in the beginning, because not everybody is fortunate enough to conceive right away. However, over time, every month that goes by increases in your heart the gnawing feeling that there is something wrong.

It makes you wonder about getting tested. In the extensive internet research that you have done, you have learned about many different tests. Which one should you do first? If you tried to do every possible test that exists, it could cost over $15,000 and potentially subject you to inconvenience, pain and in some cases, even health risk from the test itself. Saying “I want to do every test possible” is the wrong approach.

Instead, the right question that you should be asking, preferably with the help of a good doctor is “How will the results from this test end up helping guide me in what to do?” Correctly targeted basic testing can be done under $500.

When you are ready, you are welcome to come in and discuss what testing you should do.

What if you are not quite ready? If you keep trying naturally, it’s very possible that one month, you will be successful and your concerns will disappear. But what if this doesn’t happen? Over time what often happens is that a little worry begins to build. One action that you can take right now to calm the anxiety is to stop what you’re doing and set a deadline, an absolute month beyond which you are no longer willing to wait. It’s a good idea to do the actual exercise of making the deadline clear and well defined, circling it on your calendar or setting an alarm on your phone. After all, one common fear is to wake up one day only to find that five years have passed by without you realizing. Setting a deadline is the best way to avoid this from happening. Don’t worry if you set too early a deadline. When the alarm is triggered, you always have the option of extending it – sort of like hitting the snooze button. Of course it would be wonderful to naturally get pregnant before the deadline arrives.

What happens if your deadline comes and you’re still not pregnant? That’s the time you make a decision to do something different. This might mean going to get help from a doctor. It might mean making a big change in your diet or exercise routine. It might even mean making a major change in your job situation. For example, if you have PCOS and your deadline comes, maybe this will trigger you to make the decision to go on a strict PCO-friendly diet. Then you may decide that starting that day, you will set a new six-month deadline, thereby giving this diet a chance to work. As before, if the new deadline comes and you’re not yet pregnant, then it becomes time to come up with something different to try.

If your deadline is up and you would like to take the first step towards having professional assistance, we are here to help.